The Bjorgens

I have not posted on here in a while because I’ve been concentrating on keeping everyone informed through  Facebook.  So many of you prayed and are still praying for our little Malachi.  This is our way of saying “thank you”.  If you are a church and your church prayed for us, please feel free to show this to your congregation or distribute this to them. We are so grateful for you and your prayers.  Our prayers for healing for Malachi  were answered with a big “YES!”  We are praising the Lord. Below the video is the birth story from my eyes.

I’ve been trying to get up the nerve to write this. I am having flashbacks of what transpired in the hospital that bring me to tears.  Recalling what happened is really difficult.

On Friday morning the 4th, I was super nervous.  More so than I remember with my other two (but that could just be my memory).  For some reason I remember thinking that nothing was the same this morning.  I had expectations that this experience would be similar to Ellis’, but it was not.  Everything seemed strange, down to the room that I was in.  Something seemed off.  Call it my imagination or just the fact that I was nervous, but I believe God was preparing my heart for what was to come.

I was wheeled into the OR and given the epidural there. John and my mom came into the OR,  and my OB was ready to begin.  I remember crying through the whole thing.  I remember feeling very scared.  Then, before I knew it, the baby was out.  But he was not crying “something is wrong” I thought.  I could see the doctors look in her eyes.  She was working on the baby trying to get him to cry.  Finally, he did.  I was relieved.  All that worrying for nothing.

When I got to recovery John came in and explained to me that there was something wrong with the baby, Congenital Pneumonia.  I had been given a sedative, I could not process this but I knew it meant that I would not be able to hold or feed my baby for several hours.  I began to cry.  After several hours in my hospital room, I could not take it any more and insisted on seeing my baby.  So my OB had them bring in a wheel chair and they wheeled me to the NICU.  The nurses could not believe i was up but nothing can separate a mom from her child.  At that point, he only had oxygen in his nose.  He was so cute, so vulnerable.  At that point I did not realize how in danger I was to losing him.

By the evening our pediatrician said that he needed to be intubated because his little chest was working too hard to breathe.  To see him was so sad.  Then I came in after he had the tube down his throat.  No words can describe (we posted the picture on Facebook).  He looked helpless, and all could do was pray.  It was all that I had in me to not rip those tubes out and take him home.

The rest of the time is a blur.  From getting tubes surgically put into his lungs to relieve pressure, to late night therapy sessions, to desperately trying to find a blood donor for o- blood (here in Belize you have to find a donor before they release the blood to you).  For the therapy, they had to beat on his back to loosen the mucus in his lungs.  One night I was there for it and you could tell that he was crying, He was not making any sound but he had tears and his little chest was moving up and down.  It was the lowest time for me.  It had to be done and I could not do anything to help him from his pain.  The therapy really did work and the prayers that so many people prayed worked!  Everyone was calling him a miracle.  Even though the doctors did not tell us then, I know now that they did not expect him to survive.

We had great care at the hospital.  There were two pediatricians on his case.  One took vacation time to stay with Malalchi.  There was a pediatrician and a respiratory therapist in the NICU around the clock.  They were all frustrated because they knew that they did not have the tools they needed to feel totally comfortable, but they were sure they could treat him at the hospital.

Miraculously, six days later we were in our own hospital room.  A couple of days after that, he was pronounced “normal”.

God really took us through this.  Even though we were worried, we had a peace that only God could give.  I had my breakdown moments, but I did have faith that he would survive, and he did.  I’m struggling now though with the  flashbacks of my time in the hospital. I cry during the day especially when alone.  I am hoping that as time goes on, it will get better.

Malachi is so chill and such a great baby.  He is beautiful.  He will probably have blonde hair and blue eyes, just what I wanted.  His shaking has disappeared.  I am overwhelmed by a great God who answers the prayer of His people.

I have a personal journal.  I’ve been meaning to write in it since the birth but I have not been able to.  I opened it up curious to see what my thoughts were before the birth and this is what I found:

‘Twas the night before Malachi’s birth, and I’m all excited and nervous.  I know that the Lord will get me through!  If not, I will be in heaven.  But I would like to live through this birth.  LOL.  I am so tired.  I am feeling anxious to hold my baby in my arms.  Lord, I love you!  Thank you for giving me this beautiful gift of life!  I’m so thrilled to finally meet him tomorrow!  It will be so neat.  I praise you Lord for who you are and ALL you have done.  I think of you giving YOUR son up.  How hard that would be for me.  I love you!  In Jesus name I pray, AMEN!

You can see how nervous I was about the operation and about something going wrong with me during the c-section.  I never had a doubt in my mind that Malachi would be healthy.  I was not worried about him.  Then my thoughts turned to how difficult it would be to do what God did, giving up Jesus.  At the time I remember thinking it was an interesting thought to be having at that moment.  Now reading back, I see that God was preparing my heart.  He was preparing me to put Malachi in God’s hands.  God has been so constant and steady with us these past four days.  He is so patient and loving.  There have been times I’ve been snippy and rude to those I love and yet, I feel like God has just been stroking my hair.  I’ve seen Malachi react so positively toward the scripture I have been saying to him.  Gods word is alive and active, make no mistake about that my friends.  Even to a little baby. Today I thought of this song:

And I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

This is probably repeat information to most of you but I need all prayers on deck this morning. Most of you know that our newborn son Malachi was born with pneumonia. He has been on a ventilator since birth. I am a bundle of nerves as we prepare for today. Today they plan to take Malachi off of the ventilator. This is a huge step and I am asking everyone to PRAY,PRAY,PRAY this morning. It will happen around 11 o’clock our time. Pray that he does well off the ventilator and that there is nothing else wrong with him, pray for healing for our little man, and pray that he will not have too much discomfort. I can’t express how much him being off the ventilator is a HUGE step. Please, pray and get others praying as well. Thank you!

Also, please be in prayer Evangeline and Ellis. It is hard for them not to be around mommy. They need peace too.

Yesterday in church we sang the song, “Blessed Be Your Name”.  In the past few months we have sung this several times in church and each time I get choked up and am so thankful to God that I understand the lyrics “When the darkness closes in Lord, STILL I will say, Blessed be the name of the Lord!”.  It was not always so.  I have been dealing  with anxiety issues since I was a little girl, right after the time my parents got divorced.  The devil has tried many times to use (successfully in the past) my anxiety against me.  Eventually as I got older it turned into bouts of depression.

How can a CHRISTIAN who loves the Lord struggle with depression?  Aren’t Christians supposed to be joyful always and have joy in the Lord?  These are questions that depressed Christians struggle with secretly.  Feelings of guilt and shame often accompany them.  The particular depression that I struggle with comes and goes.  It can be 3 years and then it hits me and I struggle for three months.  Then another six months will go by and I will struggle with it for a week.  It looks different for anyone who deals with depression.  For me, I believe a major component is spiritual warfare.  The devil wants me down and wants me to stay down, but I refuse to let him have the upper hand in this.

The past three months I have had many ups and downs.  During the down times I would pray that the Lord not give up on me that He would stay by my side.  He said, “Melissa, don’t give up on ME.”  I thought to look up some Psalms because I know that King David knew what it was like to be in despair.  I found 3 psalms that have helped me through my down times.

Psalm 27- A Psalm of fearless trust in God

It begins with- “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread?”  Just think of that!  The Lord is our DEFENSE.  Reading that over and over, and believing that God is defending me against the evil one brought hope to a sad heart.

Verse 8 says, “When you said, “Seek my face”, my heart said to you “Your face, O Lord, I shall seek.”" I love this verse because I feel that the Lord spoke those words to me.  The Lord knows my struggles and He is saying “Seek me Melissa because I have the answers and the comfort.” He desires us to comply with His request, and when I did, He came THROUGH.  He is faithful

Psalm 34- The Lord, a Provider and Deliverer

Every thing about this Psalm speaks to me in a personal way.  Here I see David, a man who loves God deeply, but is depressed.  He manages to find joy in the Lord despite it.  I feel that this Psalm is very healing for the depressed who love the Lord.

Verse 1- “I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.”  This reminds me that no matter how I feel I should give praise to the Lord.  This action is difficult when you find yourself at a low point. BUT IT IS POSSIBLE. I have found that by blessing the Lord in my down times, I can’t quite describe it but, there is a peace in the midst of anxiety.  There is a glimmer of joy.  It helps you make it through.

Verse 6- “The Angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and rescues them.”  How comforting this verse is.  Knowing that if I remain faithful to the Lord in the down times, that He will encamp around me.  I think of the word “encamp” as protecting, staking claim, covering.  This verse is healing.

Psalm 64- A thirsting soul satisfied in God

This psalm speaks to being alive in the Lord no matter the circumstance.  This is on of my favorite passages of scripture. I want to be as satisfied with the Lord as the psalmist is.

Verse 1 says, “I shall seek you earnestly… in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”  Jesus Christ is the LIVING WATER.  The reminder to seek Him during the times my life feels dry is an encouragement to me to continue pressing on and praising the Lord.

I love verses 6 and 7.  ” When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on you in the night watches, For you have been my help and in the shadow of your wings I sing for joy.” In the “shadow of Your wings.”  Again I see God here as my protector.  As a bird spreading out its wings protecting her young from predators.  There is ultimate comfort and protection in God’s shadow and that is where we should strive to be.

I truly believe that someone who is depressed can still experience joy in the Lord.  It’s not the joy that makes our faces break out into a smile and obliterates what we are going through, but it’s a joy that is much deeper.  It is a joy that when times get dark, we KNOW we have the Lord to cling to.  We DEPEND on the Lord’s steadfastness to make it through a bad day.  We RELY on the Lord for protection from the evil one.  In the midst of crying when we do not know why, God gives us PEACE, even if that peace does not make us stop crying.  It’s difficult to explain if you have never been depressed.

I believe the Lord is pleased with us in the midst of depression when we find ways to say “Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be your name Jesus. You give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name.”

“God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him in the midst of suffering.”
-John Piper

March did come roaring in like a lion for us. The Belize Mission was booked solid with teams for last month. We helped where we were needed and the girls enjoyed participating in a couple of VBS’s that the teams put on. The teams did a great job ministering, constructing, painting, and being flexible.

We also had the opportunity to host a team here in the village. It is not very often that we will do this, but this team was unique in that there were two former missionaries to Gales Point Village in this team. It was a very small group and we had room to accommodate them in our home. They gave the church a “facelift”. They repainted the church a beautiful green and also painted a mural depicting Jesus Christ as “The Way, The Truth, and The LIfe.” The second half of their time here, they took the entire Ladies Bible Study out to Caye Caulker for a retreat. We played games, sang songs, prayed, cried, talked about spiritual gifts, fellowshipped with the Lord, and each lady received a pedicure! It was so nice. The ladies felt very special. The team from Living Streams did a great job showing God’s love to the villagers and pouring love on our family.

The discipleship program is going very well. We are seeing growth and understanding in each person that we are taking time with. We ourselves are being challenged by the Lord. God is really blessing our individual time with who He has laid on our hearts. Please continue to pray for the discipleship program.

May 4th is the scheduled c-section date for Baby number three. As it draws closer, memories of past c-sections come back to my mind. Even though it is not considered “real labor”, I think it is. Birth is birth, and having major surgery while awake and then recovering from it for six weeks is no picnic. It is labor in a different way. Please be in prayer that the Lord will grant me calmness of spirit and that I will be able to rest in Him. One amazing thing that is happening is that my Mom will be able to be in the operating room along with John and I. This is very rare as they only allow just one other person in the OR during a c-section. The doctor has been very accommodating to me and is making an exception. This will be my moms 6th grandchild but her first that she will see birthed and it will be her BIRTHDAY! What a cool gift.

We love you all! Please stay tuned and be in prayer for our next blog that I will write as to what the Lord is asking you to do.

Our jeep has been out of commission for a while.  John is working hard to get it road worthy again, but in the meantime we rely on the graciousness of others, thanking God for their kindness. Today I had to get to Belize City, and the only way to get there was on the bus.  Here is how to do it:

Step 1- Wake up at 5 am and get ready.  Wake Ellis up at 5:30 am, get her ready.

Step 2- Leave at 5:50 by riding a bike, Ellis rides in the baby seat on the back.

Step 3- Park bike at a house near the bus stop where it will be safe.

Step 4- walk some hundreds of yards to the bus stop and wait.

Step 5- Get on said bus and ride down the coastal highway for 13 miles.

Step 6- Get off bus 500 yards from the stop because it’s a school bus and they need to fit the rest of the kids in. So I hoist Ellis on my shoulders and walk.

DETOUR- Pregnant lady has to go to the bathroom.  The only one around is  the local shop with an outhouse in the back.

Step 7- Wait for the bus with no bus stop. This was challenging with a toddler wanting to run out in the street.

Step 8- Catch the bus and proceed to ride a winding road to Belmopan.

DETOUR- Ellis throws up on me twice.

Step 9- Arrive in Belmopan.  I have three minutes to get off the bus rush to the bathroom (yes again) and wipe Ellis mouth.

Step 10- 45 minute drive from Belmopan to Belize City.

Step 11- Arrive in Belize City, take a taxi cab (five minutes for more than the bus ride total) to borrow a car to get me around the city.  It is now about 10:15.

From start to finish about 5 hours to get to the city.

Guess what? I MADE IT!! Belizeans do it all the time.  This was my first.  What  a resilient people group, one of the reasons why I love them and admire them.  I feel like I got initiated today. Would I do it again? Sure, why not, although I could do without the throw up. I will never forget my trip today, and that is fine by me.

Last week marked the beginning of our discipleship.  It was a bit of an adjustment for us because there was also a team staying at the Belize Mission.  We learned that it takes a balancing act to do both.  We knew that by discipling it would cut into time we spent with the team in the village, but they were well taken care of by the Kidders.  So while I would go out and disciple, John would watch the kids and vice versa.  Sometimes that meant that John would have to take the kids to the work site (the team was building a house there), other times it would require me to rush home from discipling so John could go out and disciple and help with the house.  He would come back, and then I would go join the team for VBS.  We are still working on balancing our schedule, especially when teams are here, it’s not perfect, but GOD HAS BLESSED OUR TIME!  We feel so encouraged by the time we have spent with the eight we are discipling.  Here are some spiritual “vehicles” that help us disciple.

The Bible- Nothing like God’s perfect word and sword to pierce hearts and lives.

The Purpose Driven Life- This book has proven an effective tool for us here.  ”Staying with the basics” is what Pastor Kenny has challenged us to do.  This book is very basic, is packed full of scripture, and answers many questions that Belizeans are asking.  When used as a guide, it is very helpful.

Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem- John is going through this large book with Shannon, because he needs a better understanding of theology and needs a good overall view of doctrine. Shannon is really soaking everything in.

Crazy Love by Francis Chan- Una and I are going through this book together to challenge us in our faith.  Although some of it talks about the “American Church” much of it is relevant here as well.  Una is enjoying this study and is feeling very challenged by it so far.

Proverbs- A couple of my women have not gotten into the habit of reading the bible daily.  I have challenged them to read a chapter from Proverbs every day of the week.  This practice is greatly helping Amanda.  Not only did she express to me that she feels better for daily being in the Word, but Proverbs is challenging her.

College course- Kenny and John are looking into doing a college course together in biblical studies.  John hopes this can be a way to further both their biblical knowledge, and provide and challenge for Kenny. Please pray for this to happen.

So how do we get around the village?  The jeep has been broken down for several months now.  Even so, we have found that the villagers respect us for riding our bike and walking through the village.  They feel that we are one of them, and that is a good feeling for us.  We love them so much and want to be a part of their lives.  Here are a couple of pictures of our ministry vehicles:

The stroller was anonymously donated by someone from a supporting church.  We use it at least three times a day, to push the kids to church or on visitation.

The bike is an example of what our bike looks like.  Our bike has a basket and a baby seat attached to it.  We use the bike constantly and it is the main vehicle that get’s us to and from discipleship.

Please continue to pray for us as we seek wisdom from the Lord in all things.  We are imperfect people serving a great and perfect God.  Our prayer is that He will use us as a tools for Him.  Praise the Lord with us that so far, discipleship has been going very well.  Pray that the devil will not be able to infiltrate.

Has anyone else asked God this question? I have. Until early December I was really struggling with God’s grace in my life. My sin nature would creep up on me and I would feel so down trodden by the fact that I had not yet mastered how to control it. From there I would ask questions to myself and God such as, “How can I be more perfect? How can I be more Holy?” God does call us to perfection and holiness in the bible, but I was concentrating on what I could do to fix the problem and not letting God do what he does best: lead and guide my life in that area.
I continued to get worse in my thinking. If I could not fully accept God’s grace in my life, how could I tell others about it? Was I even a Christian? Why did God make someone like me with so many faults and a particular sin nature? Did God choose to make me this way for a purpose? All of these thoughts came periodically and if you can imagine, distressed me greatly. How could I be a missionary and have these thoughts? I knew in my heart that I was a Christian, I knew in my mind that God gives me grace and mercy, but for some reason I was not feeling it.
In early December our colleagues, a husband and wife, from our mission board came to visit us. They oversee the Latin American region and came to have meetings and set our goals for the year. I reserved some time alone with Marcia to share my distress. Over coffee and a muffin I cried over what I had been experiencing for a long time. I felt so ashamed. After listening to me for a long time Marcia said, “Mel, you are a NORMAL woman, especially a normal missionary woman.” She explained that under the extreme amount of stress we have been under that doubting God’s sovereignty, His grace, my Christianity, happens because we are HUMAN. I felt slightly better but what was really healing for me was when she explained how God is my heavenly Father, and just like a kind earthly Father, He is not going to disown me for the wrong things I do, yet He is there patiently waiting to forgive me and be there for me when I suffer the consequences of my sin.
Should I continue sinning so that grace may abound? God Forbid! But I finally had a picture of how God feels towards me and how His grace DOES abound. There are times He is pleased with me, I am not always messing things up, no matter how I felt. It further has solidified in me that anything good in me comes from the Lord. I will ALWAYS have to fight my sin nature, but I can fight it with God’s grace by my side. I can fight knowing that if I mess up really bad, He is not going to turn his back on me. For nothing can separate us from the love of God.
I was thinking of this very thing about a week ago. For surly my sin nature reared it’s ugly head. and I asked God, “Why did you make me, me?” The Lord is silent on this with me because I know, He knows, I know. God’s grace is sufficient for me, His strength is made perfect in my weakness.
Thank you Lord for rebuilding this broken woman and using me how you see fit. And that is the beauty my friends, He still chooses to use me for Him and THAT IS GRACE!

Note: I have found that daily reading and studying His WORD is necessary to combat this type of thinking.  If you are in a similar trap, there is no medicine equal to the Word of God.

The heartbeat that God has given us for the remainder of our term is disciplining and teaching in the village. There are eight people God has laid on our hearts to disciple this year. Eight that range from non-believers to solid believers. Below is a little about each of them and how you can pray.

Women (Mel)

Una- Una is the wife of Kenny who is the pastor at our church.  She desires to grow in the Lord and stand strong in her faith.  Pray for her as she is one the most scrutinized and criticized women in the village.  Pray that God will grant her the desires of her heart, to grow in Him.  Pray that the Lord will help her stand firm in the village.

Amanda- Amanda is the wife of Shannon, the associate pastor.  She is about 18 years old and she is a wife and a new mother.  She has such a sweet, forgiving spirit.  She desires to grow in her walk with the Lord as well.  Pray for Amanda as she cares for her small family.  Pray that God will grant her wisdom and strength.

Shelly- Do you remember the salvation story of Shelly? It still brings tears to my eyes.  She has needed discipleship for so long.  Now, I am able to do it.  She has slipped away slowly from church and the bible study.  She desires to walk the way of the Lord but, has no idea how to do it.  Pray for Shelly!

Nadine- Nadine became a Christian about a year ago through ladies bible study.  Like Shelly, there has not yet been an opportunity for me to disciple her properly until now.  Nadine has a wonderful friendly spirit and God has given her a strong voice for Him.  Pray that she will grow in the Lord this year.

Men (John)

Kenny – Is our church pastor.  I’ll be meeting with him to sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron.  We’ll also continue to pray for our village and plan for the future of the church in our village.  I’ll also hopefully be learning more Belizean Kriol from Kenny in an intentional attempt to become conversant in Kriol.

Shannon – our associate pastor/deacon.  Will be especially focused on studying doctrine and working on organizing and preparing lessons and teaching.

Robert – Robert is not a Christian yet.  He’s the “common law husband” of Nadine, mentioned above.  He faithfully volunteers whenever we have a team building project and I’ve developed a bit of a connection with him that I haven’t with other men in the village.  I truly think he is seeking something more and is curious about Christianity.  Please pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to draw Robert.  I’ll be hanging out with him intentionally on a regular basis as a faithful witness.

Jay – Is a man who recently moved to the village with his wife Myrtle.  His wife is from the village.  Jay has been coming to many of the services and outreaches and has asked us to meet with him weekly to study the Bible.  I’m not sure totally what he believes yet, but will be working through and discovering that throughout the next weeks.

We ask for your faithful prayer for this time of discipleship.  We ask that you pray that nothing will stand in our way of our planned sessions with these beautiful friends of ours.  Fight for them on the Throne of Grace with us.

Pray for John and I, that we will be faithful to the task that God has laid out for us.  In addition to these ladies that I will be working with, there will also be three little ones looking to me for physical and spiritual care.  Pray that I can be the godly mother they need.  Pray that we will stand firm when opposition comes and that we will not be discouraged but encouraged by the Lord.  Thank you Lord for this task!  May we complete it with your grace and stand firm in faith in you!

Hello all! We are very sorry for the silence. When we came back from the funeral at the end of December we were concentrating very hard on transitioning from the base to the village. That transition was sucessful and we are now living comfortably in the village. We are so thrilled to be there and be official villagers. Another factor in our lack of communication is that our blog “broke down” and we just got it up and running recently.

John and I will both concentrate on discipling four men and four women for a year as well as continuing our various ministries. Our hope is to have solid Christian families in the church before our first term ends. Please pray for us.

Our house is a delight. It is very roomy and the girls love it. The house is situated in a more quiet end of the village, which works perfectly for hosting and discipling. I will have pictures of our house next week. The girls love living in the village and having their friends near them, they have transitioned beautifully!

Ususally we send out a paper newsletter. That IS coming, it’s just very late, with everything that has happened the past couple of months.

We can not express to you how loved you all make us feel with your comments on here or on facebook or via e-mail that you are praying for us. It is such an encouragement.